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Child Support Disaster
In order by date. Start Here. Most recent info posted at top. Last update: 10/24/2000
The group does not recommend withholding "support" from your children as part of the Non-Violent Action. Obviously it does not meet the requirements of risking personal sacrifice to call attention to your cause. Here is a brief summary from John Murtari of the case:
Withholding support has never been part of my protest actions. The focus has always been on equal physical and legal custody for parents. When Domenic was living here I was paying $60/week, at state guidelines based on my actual income. The problem was a support level set at $120/week based on "imputed" income.
The Judge stated, "I should abandon my business (which was showing good growth), and take a regular job". I was not willing to do that. The reason I was not willing to abandon my business was that I choose to start my own business to afford me flexible hours, flexible time for Dom. The Judge also commanded me to stop the volunteer work I was involved in at a homeless shelter so I could work more. Dom used to help me "make sandwiches for the poor people." He saw how important it was by my actions, not words. Can you imagine a single person (the Judge) having that much power over your life?
"... The Defendant has voluntarily chosen to decrease his income ... to spend more time during the day with Domenic ... business income is unable to support his family obligations ... The time spent on volunteer work, no matter how commendable, could be better used producing income ... The defendant needs to adjust his priorities to adequately provide for his family."
At that time I had Dom Thursday - Monday, every other weekend. He was four and the business gave me the flexibility to spend all these days with him -- I never left him with a sitter. He had a "busy" schedule with Mom and came to enjoy & cherish our quieter time together. I still averaged more than 40 hr/week, working morning and evenings when Dom was asleep and weekends when he was not with me. I made a petition (see below) to the court system to modify the support level, but it was denied. I started falling behind.
In 1999 Dom was relocated to California after my former wife gained permission through the court system. (A different Judge than the original). No adjustments were made to my support level so that I could see him. I saw myself cut off as a parent. I was never able to reach Dom on the phone (always got the answering machine) -- Every week I leave a message on the answering machine, I write Dom once a week, send him gifts for the holidays -- but I have received only one letter from him in almost 2 years. If I did not travel to see Dom, there would be NO contact. NO chance to provide hands on "parental" support.
I made the conscientious decision to start my NonViolent Actions in 1999. My goal was to restore the relationship between Dom and me. My income dropped... I was getting farther behind on the court ordered child support payment, however I was spending more money on Dom. About $4000 in just travel expenses to see him for the summer and three other visits (all the way to California for just a weekend). I used my money to provide him direct "parental and emotional" support.
Relocation was not an option. I am an only child and have an 84 year old mother who also needs my help. In practical terms my former spouse comes from a wealthy family and has the means to provide Dom's "material" needs. Dom has never gone "without" the material things in life ... if I did not choose to visit him, he would go "without" the emotional support I provided as his father.
If I had ever felt Dom was in physical need, I would have abandoned my mother and moved out there. I have always been very honest with the Court about my intentions. I have offered the courts proof of how the money is spent -- but it didn't matter. (See my many letters below).
Child support has become identified only with payments made to a support collection system and counted by computers. Why? Frankly, not because its a good measure of the money spent by a parent in providing material and emotional support to their child -- but because it makes it very easy to collect and measure. Can a system of computers ever count love?
If I could have spent the time with Dom and paid the money, I would have done it -- but the system didn't really care about that option. When the court system supported the relocation of Dom, they chose not to address the issue of "on-hands" emotional support for Dom from me. They left me with the very difficult decision ... Do I provide Dom financial support OR Do I provide Dom with "hands-on" emotional support??? I knew this would be a "life-changing" decision.
12/26/2000 - John will be released in two more days. He is looking forward to visiting with his son and mother. A special thanks to all those who made monetary contributions while John was in jail. Below is a message from John that was sent out on our mailing list a few days ago:
As my December 28th release date approaches, I wanted to share some thoughts and feelings with you. In the coming weeks I will also be seeking your advice as our struggle for Civil Rights continues. (http://www.AKidsRight.Org/protest_dm.htm)
I have to say how much I was moved by the story told by Lady Litton in our last list message of November 9th (http://www.AKidsRight.Org/archive/archive2000/). How she was willing to risk being a prisoner -- all because she had been denied the right to vote. Something many of us now take for granted.
Why don't we see many parents involved in protests for reform? Perhaps because so many just don't realize they deserve better. They just don't know how badly their rights have been violated -- that the right to nurture our own children is certainly one by which we have "been endowed by our creator," in the words of the Declaration of Independence.
My cellmate here in jail recently found out his 15 year old son had been shot in the face and blinded in one eye -- the bullet still lodged in his skull. It really made me think. My son, Domenic, lives far away. I have only "visits" and no legal custody. It sunk in a bit deeper what that means:
* If Dom is involved in a serious accident and lies near death -- no one has to notify me.
* If there are different courses of treatment available and even though I have an excellent education -- no one has to ask my opinion.
* Finally, if my child dies and is buried -- no one has to tell me. EXCEPT, I guess I would eventually get a letter from Support Collection: "Dear Mr. Murtari, on <date> your child died. You no longer need to make your regular payment, but we have attached a bill for your share of his final medical expenses."
Before we can expect others to appreciate our mistreatment, we need to fully recognize it ourselves. How many of you out there deserve this? For how many thousands of years were other injustices such as slavery tolerated? In a more recent example, what did it take for people to begin to realize segregation was wrong -- a woman named Rosa Parks saying "NO, I will NOT move to the back of the bus."
Today, we are told by so many people to just accept being unjustly separated from our children -- with LOVE, parents need to start saying, quot;NO, I will NOT move to the back of my child's life."
How many of you are troubled by what you "might have done"
in Court to make things different. How could you expect a reasonable outcome
when so many of your basic rights were either not recognized or violated by the
Family Law unique to your state.
* Your right to a strong presumption of equal contact with your children
(innocence).
* Your right to the protection of a jury.
* Your right to an attorney
* Your right to a speedy trial and to cross examine all witnesses.
Criminals have all these rights, what about parents? It is time we get Federal
Civil Rights legislation passed to recognize this in all states. See the Family
Rights Act for full details: http://www.AKidsRight.Org/act.htm.
My faith has deepened here; certainly God sees, God knows, and God cares -- about Domenic, my former spouse, me, and yes, even the judges and lawyers. I know that by acting with LOVE, being willing to sacrifice, and continuing to pursue justice -- I'm doing the most I can to bring all this to a happy ending. [Note: this does NOT mean everything these people do is okay, or that they shouldn't be voted out of office, or even arrested or impeached. We are trying to separate their actions from their basic worth as a person.
I have come to realize the importance of the NonViolent Action checklist (http://www.AKidsRight.Org/checklist.htm). I have been able to sacrifice six months of freedom not because I was angry, not because I wanted to prove a judge, my former spouse, or the system wrong -- but because I was doing it out of LOVE for my child and my desire to give him two parents. This is something worth sacrificing for!
SOME GOOD NEWS: After months of no contact, I was finally able to get my former spouse on the phone and make arrangements for me to travel to see Domenic for a weekend in January and February. I should also be able to bring him to my home for Spring Break, March 22-31. I'm just so happy to see my child again! MY SPECIAL THANKS to all those who made donations to ease the financial burden. See the list at: http://www.AKidsRight.Org/letters_jm.htm. You have helped make this Christmas Season special!
COMING ATTRACTIONS: There will be more on this in our next message. I will probably be back at the Syracuse Federal Building in April, to carry a picture of my son and walk for our Civil Rights. I am hoping two mothers and two fathers will join me. It would send a very powerful message.
In closing, let me share a poem I wrote as part of a Creative Writing class here in the jail. The class members liked it, I hope you will also:
I LOVE YOU DOM
I love you Dom,
you're far from home.
My special guy,
I wish I could look and spy.
You're my little man,
I hope some day we can.
You're my life and joy,
did you ever get that toy?
We meet and laugh and fly,
but tears when we say bye.
How many days you sigh,
not too many little guy.
I love you Dom,
you're my man.
I love you more,
than green eggs and ham.
Could I love you in a park,
could I love you in the dark?
Over here, over there,
I will love you anywhere.
I love you Dom, I love you.
10/24/2000 - John had written a letter to the Judge requesting that his "good time" be restored. He received a reply from his former spouse's attorney. Judge Klim issues an order denying the request. It was a bitter disappointment.
9/12/2000 - John also received a letter from the federal district court which dismissed his Habeas Corpus petition for not "exhausting all state remedies first." In addition, John wrote a letter to Judge Klim explaining his civil rights cause and request action for release.
8/14/2000 - While in jail, John was able to complete his Habeas Corpus Petition to the Federal District Court in Syracuse, New York. You can read the actual petition here, it summarizes the aruguments John made to the Court regarding his present situation. John's cousin, also called John Murtari, helped out by making copies of the petition and mailing it to the Court.
8/9/2000 - John summarizes his experiences in jail on non-violent action. He wrote to the judge on August 2 and again to the judge on August 7, pleading for a temporary release.
8/1/2000 - John should have a Habeas Corpus petition ready for submission to the local U.S. District Court this week. He wrote again to Judge Klim on July 27th.
7/18/2000 - Thank you for your support and letters. John is still trying to get a delay in his sentence. On July 13th wrote again to the judge and also to New York's governor Pataki. He wrote again to the judge on July 20th.
7/5/2000 - John gets a letter stating he has no "cause of action" for a change in support amount. Even though his child had been relocated and he has high travel expenses. New York law supports his position for a change, but what can you do?
6/28/2000 - John has a brief trial and is sentenced to an immediate jail sentence. Check here for current status information.
Today's trial in front of Judge Klim lasted 90 minutes. After reviewing the case facts, John's attorney asked the court for some understanding and leniency since John was to start his 6 weeks visitation with Domenic on July 12th. He asked the court to please hold off on a decision until after the visitation. Judge Klim then sentenced John Murtari to 6 months in jail at the Jamesville Correction Facility for violation of the order to pay child support.
"I'm crushed. Dom and I have been looking forward to this 6 weeks together, but for some reason, the judge would not allow the visitation."
The past week has been hectic in Family Court. A trial starts today with another risk of jail over support issues. Yesterday, in an "amazing coincidence", my petition regarding a custody violation is dismissed by Family Court Judge Hood for a real technicality (and then I find out she is Congressman Walsh's sister!).
6/27/2000 - I am
"ready" for trial? Fortunately I was able to contact a Mr. Bob Ravera,
a long term acquaintance, was willing to represent me and wait for full
payment. While lacking a bit in experience (he is a new attorney), he
is a parent and is aware of my situation and past and agrees that there is an
injustice here and things have become a "big mess." My petition
for modification & some notes I gave him.
I welcome this chance to get these support issues resolved one way or the
other. After spending a lot of money in supporting my son and doing
everything I can for him and our relationship, it is strange to see the
"system" treat me like a "bum". I am very concerned,
there is a real risk of jail today. As I told my attorney, "I would
like to realize some compromise here, but the problem is I don't have anything
left.... they have taken my child, I'm living at home with my mother, and there
are still $30,000 in judgements pending." The most agonizing
part is that I was due to start summer vacation with Domenic in
just two more weeks, July 12-August 24 -- even in the worst case I hope the
Judge would delay jail till after that is over.
6/20/2000 - Got a letter from the Judge and was told he was removing the assignment to Mr. Bartholomae, but would not assign another counsel. Trial was scheduled for June 28th -- no further adjournments.
6/15/2000 - I've had some real problems with an assigned counsel who just didn't seem to have any time. Other real problems have also developed, an appearance was missed and a lot of time wasted. I have written to the Judge explaining what happened and asking for another attorney. The assigned Counsel was nice enough to write a letter to the Hearing Examiner. A few days later the attorney wrote to the Judge: page1, page2 and said he just found out from the Assigned Counsel office that I would not qualify for assignment.
6/9/2000 - Their was a big mix-up. My assigned counsel missed an apperance and my petition for a modification to support was dismissed. I had to submit a formal objection to try to get it back on the calenar.
3/29/2000 - Appeared in Court, Judge Klim (a new Judge), was quite polite and handled the appearance without a "rush". I was assigned counsel, and we will reappear on the 20th.
3/27/2000 - In the mail I got a signed order lifting the suspension (a great relief!). I also found out this is a pretty "standard" procedure when a modification request is pending (so it was not as difficult as I thought it was to temporarily lift). As this action proceeds I am going to try to get a realistic order -- one that includes any travel expenses which are necessay for me to "support" Dom.
Spring of 2000. The loss of my license was a real problem -- It alone would stop me from seeing Domenic for 6 weeks this summer -- not too mention the other problems! I realized that while it was not worth risking "jail" over just money -- this had gotten to the point of basic self respect and the ability to fulfill family obligations.
I prepared an order, and after having it filed (by coincidence), was served with court papers from my former spouse for "nonpayment". With a Court date of March 29, I wrote a letter to the Judge explaining my request and included a copy of my pending request for modification. I also planned an NonViolent Action to not leave the Courtroom if my license suspension was not lifted.
Spring of 1999. As part of another action, Domenic had been relocated to California. Collection of the support was turned over to New York State "Support Collection" services, they told me they could pull my driver's license. It was a very difficult position now -- If I wanted to see Domenic there would be no money left to pay -- a bad situation.
I have written a bunch of other letters with no effect:
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To Support Collection - Feb of 99 - Tried to explain to them there was no money according to their own guidelines, and the license should not be suspended. No reply.
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To the Trial Judge and Support Collection - April of 99 - Tried to explain again how limited the funds were and that I could not comply with order. Got a letter from the Judge's office stating that no action was pending before the Court.
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To Support Collection - Sep of 1999 - Had gotten notice of a State Tax Warrant against me which could result in property seizure. Also applied to them for credit for travel expenses. They did call me a few weeks later to tell me the credit had been given, and was I aware my license had been suspended several months ago!
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To Commissioner of Social Services - Oct of 1999 - The license suspensions made this a crisis situation for me. I am an only child and have an elderly mother I care for. Got a three page response: page 1, page 2, and page 3. Probably the most frustrating thing is the feeling my letters are not even read. If you look at page 2 I am told I could have challenged the suspension, but my time has now expired -- the whole point of my letter was to let him know I had challenged the suspension in a timely manner.
Fall of 1998. I did make another attempt to petition for a change. It was again denied in a non-jury proceeding by a single "hearing examiner." At the time I was supposed to pay $120/week (based on the $40K income) -- I was actually paying $60/week (based on real income). It was denied and the appeal is very delayed.